Snap!

I wrote this today. I know i havent written in awhile. A lot of things have happened. I have entries for those events but today i just want to share this entry.
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Hmm…I was dwelling on the title for a good two seconds before deciding that, that would be it. It’s hard to talk about this subject when I myself question my sanity sometimes. But mental illness has never been scarier since Marie. It’s like looking at an accident scene in your moving car as compared to physically standing in front of the wreck and the casualties. The intensity is magnified tenfold. You must be wondering what am I blabbering about..oh well. I want to talk about a colleague of ours who has just went hmm..koo koo? I know…a bit mean .. especially after the frappacino green tea. I can be a bit blunt. Or maybe I am not like some people who are good with words.Yep..blame it on the tea and not on mua! Ok…how am I going to nicely put it. She has been diagnosed of having bi-polar disorder. I feel sadness in me that I have never felt before. We are not close but it’s sad because she has just gotten her doctorate. It must be a horrifying dilemma for the family. Somehow I refuse to belief it at first because it just doesn’t make sense. It can happened in the movies or in another company but not ours.hmm.. until now I’m still making up stories to myself that she is doing a secret research where she’s observing how people react to the mentally unstable. It’s a secret that she has to pretend to be crazy and an agreement has been drafted with the doctor about her research that no one knows. Soon she’ll come out of it and everyone will laugh at how silly and paranoid they have become and everything will go back to normal. By now, you must be thinking I am the one that’s mentally unstable. Not bi-polar, multi-polar disorder, excessive mood swing all the timeJ Admit it..it’s funny. My friends and I have been joking about it. We tried very hard to not show how worried we are about our own sanity that we poked fun at Marie’s disorder and other mental diseases. Secretly, some are checking on the symptoms of bi-polar on the internet and matching it to their behaviors. Seriously! I bet that’s what they are doing now. It’s funny when one person has been labeled ‘crazy’(notice the inverted commas ok) by an authority, everyone else who used to look ‘crazy’ now seems normal and is blending with the crowd. I can raise eyebrows with Sienna acknowledging about some common facts that has been discussed about Marie, when before Sienna is labeled as ‘crazy’(by most people in the company) for sending uniform ‘crazy’(inverted commas again)sms to selected people in the company for just being guilty of not saying hi to her. See the turn of event. To describe in another words, the non-verbal signal I have shared with Sienna is – I am agreeing with a crazy person about another crazy person.hmm..what does that make me?CrazY!?
Okay… serious stuff. When I feel that I am on the brink of going koo koo, I turn to GOD for some spiritual Prozac. It works all the time. It’s no charge and embarrassment-free. I ask for peace and sanity. But it’s sad when in Marie’s case, she couldn’t turn to God anymore. I hope that with time, medication and therapy, she’ll be ok. I seriously hope that she’ll be ok. One thing is good though that people can still distinguish between what’s crazy and what’s not. With all that’s happening in the world right now- attacking another country without being provoke, open burning, body markings(it’s revolting unless if you think having fish fins grooves underneath your skin is cool) and many other not normal things that people are doing right now. It’s hard to distinguish between what’s crazy and what’s not. It’s good that we can still do. Today has been lazy and sleepy for me until I was awaken by a good friend and caffeine of course. Now I’m all charged up and ready to work. It’s 4.30pm by the way. I guess I’ll save all my energy for tomorrow. Chao earthlings!