Sudah jatuh, ditimpa tangga

It wasn’t as bad as what the title suggests but you know me, I like the drama and the element of surprise. Once in a while, need to practice a bit of Bahasa. This particular entry has all the element of humor, action, thriller and hmm..romance (just a tad). It happened all in a Sunday. The day started out with a lot of promises. I got up pretty late due to a late night doings the night before. H suggested that we grab something light for breakfast and then go to the mall for a bit of grocery shopping and lunch. We did that and as we were leaving the mall and going to the car, my sis text me and said that my dad has been bitten by a snake. How’s the story so far? What did I tell about drama eh? It’ll only happen in my family. Trust me. Okay back to the story. Imagine my thoughts then and all sorts of emotions and feelings were running through my head at that time , I am surprise that it didn’t explode and there goes Wan’s brain all over the sidewalk ( I know, I miss saying that!). But it didn’t. I called my sis immediately and asked her to explain to me what had happened. She said that Mom asked Dad to fix a water pipe at the back of the house. He did that it seems. Dad is the so called handy man in the house. He is also the carpenter. I remembered all the wooden stools that he had created with his bare hands and some tools of course. They were sturdy and have unique designs that will put an artist to shame. The same goes for the plumbing and pipes around the house. It will function well but one glance you won’t say that it’s a pipe. Most of them look like an exposed car engine. You get what I mean. My family will always tease him about it and he will laugh with us. We do this with love, mind you. I remembered his latest creation - multi-tier water pipes at the kitchen sink. The top one is for unfiltered water and the bottom for filtered. You can actually see the one pipe lurking at the top and one sneaking at the bottom. It’s a work of art where you won’t find it anywhere else. Okay he did the pipes and then he thought that while waiting for the plaster or glue to dry he’ll kill time by chopping off a tree in-front of the house. During Raya there were a lot of people visited our house and at one time there were five cars in front of the house not including ours. Dad told me that he needs to chop off the tree and then two more cars can be parked at the vacant space. He told me then. I guess that fateful day he had decided to chop it off. Off with his head! That’s from Alice in wonderland. We do have some vulgar fairy tales. Hmm. Okay my sis said that as he was chopping the tree, the snake bit his hand and he screamed. And then I asked her what happened and she said mom grabbed some ointment and smoldered it on his arm. Then they called one of our neighbors to send him to the hospital. Mom, when faced by a crisis like this won’t be able to think let alone drive. Then I asked my sis what happened after that, she said that she is in the hospital and waiting for my dad. He was taken into the emergency room while mom and sis waited outside. Then I asked her again, how’s dad? That was when she started crying. She muttered “I don’t know”. Then I asked her to pass the phone to mom. Mom was also crying. Just imagine my feelings then. I asked mom and she said that the neighbor accompanied my dad in the emergency room. They asked mom and sis to wait outside. I asked mom why. Her exact words “ I guess maybe they think we’ll make a scene”. I wanted to smile but then at that time I had forgotten how. I told mom to calm down and let’s hope for the best. My sis said that she didn’t call anyone yet not even my brothers who is half an hour away. I hung up and called Haris and asked him to get himself there. I detected unesiness in his voice after I conveyed the message to him. He was worried. Back in our minds we were thinking of the accident that happened to dad a couple of years ago,I guess all of us are relieving the moments of the accident. Dad was involved in an accident about 3 years ago- exactly my tenure here. At that time Haris was the one who conveyed the message to me. It was worse then. He talked to me for a few seconds and then he broke down. He said it looked bad. There were blood everywhere even on Udin’s shirt. Udin was the one who accompanied my dad on the ambulance. Dad’s was lying on his lap while waiting for the ambulance. That was even more horrific. I cringed with fear whenever I recalled the accident and the first time I saw my dad. We couldn’t recognize him. We drove that night and reached Penang at 3am. At 7am we went to the hospital and found his bed empty and my mom wasn’t there. I didn’t panic. Seriously! Asked the nurse, she said they have taken him for x-ray. She showed us the room. H and I rushed in and H went straight to the back of the hall. I stopped at the door and scanned the room. I couldn’t see mom. My eyes rested on this old man on a wheel chair in the middle of the room. His eyes and face were swollen with bruises and blood. He had bandages on his arms and head plus a neck bracket. Even the bandages got blood on them. I asked myself – he doesn’t look like dad at all. But my legs were carrying me towards him and I kneeled down and look up at him and said “Ba”. He looked down at me and say “ You came back”. See ! What did I tell you about drama? That was then, this is now. So back to Haris. We knew and we were feeling the same kind of dejavu silently. Dad was in the emergency room for nearly one hour. I was keeping in contact with mom, sis and Haris for like every 10 minutes. Even H was worried. He and my dad had this special bond that it’s almost funny to see the two of them together. Mom and I called them the ‘odd couple’. They are so different but they are close. So unlike my dad to hug and show affection but H will demand it. He’ll hug dad and relay all his funny jokes to dad and treated dad like a normal human being. Hmm….that’s strange. All this while I didn’t view my dad as a normal guy. He’s a dad. He is my dad. Hmm. I talked to mom and mom said they injected some anti-toxin and some anti-venom and some other stuff. They managed to catch the snake and brought it for the doc to see. After this I’ll never look at Hospital Balik Pulau the same again. It’s kindda canggih. An anti-venom? After about an hour of numerous phone calls, dad called me. He said “You don’t’ worry, I am fine. My arm is a bit swollen but the doc said that I should be fine. Don’t have to come back. I am fine”. I was so relief. I passed the phone to Hannah and they had a granddaughter-grandpa talk. Then I talked to mom and my brothers had assured me that they’ll stay with mom, dad and sis till after dinner. The doc wanted him for the night for observation purpose. After the whole commotion of dad and the snake, we were preparing for Hannah’s concert and graduation. Yep. My baby is growing up so fast. We were in a hurry because we have to drop her off at 6pm. I sat at the back with her because I needed to do her make up. She’s so pretty even though the dress was a bit too striking for me. Thank God she’s fair and has Chinese features. If she has my features and skin color, they will say that she’s an Indian. The costume was in red and gold! H was telling me that both concerts are centered on Indian dancing. Last year was on a Tamil dance. This year was on a Hindi number. Anyway, we dropped her off and saw many parents were there already filling half of the auditorium already. H and I dropped Hannah to her teacher and we found our place in the middle of the hall. We waited for the first number. She was doing a pom-pom dance. She looked so different with the make up and a sparkly top but she looked happy. She did everything right. Towards the end she and another girl was suppose to carry the banner that says ‘welcome’ but somehow her side, the stick came out from the hem. She acted quickly, in a split second, she put the stick back in and she stood proudly holding the banner. I was so proud of her. I still am. The MC commented on how fast she reacted to the situation. Then she added a bit of promo- “in CEC we not only teach your children what’s written in books but also on how to solve problems and to be quick in thinking and coming up with solutions when the situation persists. The Indian dance was wonderful. She was enjoying herself and she danced well. I was beaming with pride and I succumbed to what all the other mothers were doing, waving at your children in the dark. I told myself it was silly because they couldn’t see you because the lights were on them and not on us. But I did it anyway, I waved and smiled. After the concert we went to buy her ‘ bread-fish-bread’ because she didn’t have her dinner yet. She was hungry. After that we headed home. It was drizzling and all of us were tired. When we reached home, I couldn’t find my keys. The keys were with me last. We searched in the car then I remembered the noise I heard when we were leaving for Hannah’s concert near the guard house. It sounded like something fell. I walked to the guard house and looking for the keys. I informed the guard. I walked back to the house and relayed the news to H. He wasn’t angry and he didn’t say anything hurtful but I can see that he wasn’t happy. He was coming down with the flu and he was tired. He asked me to get in the car and we’ll go back to the concert hall to check if I had dropped it in the hall. It was a good half and hour ride. He searched but to no avail. I called Alex and conveyed her the news. I asked if she has any locksmith’s number. She said she hasn’t but she said she’ll ask Snake(her hubby). H suggested that we bunk in at his sis’s place. The idea doesn’t sound good to me. I am in my jeans and t-shirt. I had to invigilate the next day. Alex offered her house. I would rather go to Alex’s. H didn’t want to because he said it’s out of the way. Alex even text H to ask him to go over. A good ten minutes later Alex call with a locksmith’s number. I called and the locksmith agreed to come. I told H we needed to stop by at an atm for cash. That was another wild goose chase. We went to nearly 10 atms and we couldn’t withdraw the cash. I finally encountered a guard infront of DEMC and he told me that after 12 midnight , you can’t withdraw money from most banks’ atm. That’s my silver lining- new information. I sat down in the car and I looked at H and we kept quiet for the longest second and then he reminded me that we have some cash in the house. Yes. We do. So we went home and I followed the locksmith up. I saw him did his thing. It reminded me of Italian Job-the movie. In the movie they were dealing with safes but that night I was looking at the man picking at my locks. It took him 15 minutes to get through the three locks. Then I am in. Took the money and paid him. Rushed downstairs, carried the sleeping Hannah up to her bed. Then only I started breathing well. H said goodnight and went to sleep. So that was my manic Sunday. It was a crisis of emotions and feelings. But surprisingly towards the end I was calm. I slept at 3am. After preparing H and Hannah’s stuff and reflecting on what had happened. I went to work in the morning looking bewildered and like a zombie. My attention and focus were off. But I laughed nevertheless, my way of releasing tension. My friends noticed that I wasn’t myself that day. Okay that’s the end of my manic Sunday. It was one hell of a day and I survived! Gotta go do some work. Hehe. Adios Amigos!

life

Pavarotti has died. Hmm… life and death are two subjects that everybody knows about. You don’t have to be a professor with a phd to write about life or death. Hence, me writing this entry in my recently untouched web log. Anyway, my focus today will be on life. Life is too short to dance with ugly men. Life is too short for you to dwell (in dwelling 10? never mind.) on something other than what’s important to you. But it’ll be tricky if everything is important. Hmm.. then take the best 5 on the list. I attended a program organized by my students this morning involving the SPCA. There were cats on display and a few booths highlighting the cruelty on animals. Gosh the gory images of slaughtered cats and dogs are beyond your imagination. I cannot comprehend as to why people do that but maybe in their minds, the animal’s life value less than human. But again, who are you to take another life. You are not the creator. I guess that’s why in some parts of the world, capital punishment is eliminated. Poor cats and dogs.
I remembered not too long ago, a friend of mine, she used to and I think she still is one of the cats and dogs’ evangelists. She would literally walk through fire to safe a cat or dog. We need people like that more in this world. Just to balance with all the cruelty and violence.
The program went well and my friends were there as always to give me their support and encouragement. The saying that says, live your life to the fullest and make it meaningful to you won’t be complete without friends and family. They will be there when no one else would. They are not perfect and come with a renewable warranty. You need to always remind that to yourself because you are a friend too and you are not perfect.
Families too. They come with a no-return policy and they are yours forever. They are dysfunctional but they are the most priceless asset in your life.
I was talking to one of my closest friends from school just now and we were trying to match our menses dates and were disappointed when they are no where near. Actually we were planning for our girls weekend for like the last 6 months but everyone’s busy and the dates just don’t seem right. Ramadhan is coming and it’s going to be difficult for us especially. The other two are ok because they don’t fast. But the idea of getting together is good even though we seldom do get a chance to be together. Just like last week, I was all alone in Langkawi and I noticed that I talked a lot to myself. When I was walking or making decision, I voiced my thoughts out loud and it was a bit scary when I realized it was happening. When people started to look, then I snapped out of it. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I was even laughing out loud all of a sudden. Imagine this, me walking in a duty free shop, threading the aisle of rows and rows of lollies and chocolates then I laughed out loud. If you do not know what I was thinking seconds before the burst of laughter then you’d think I am crazy but then even if you knew you’d still think I am a bit nuts. One screw somewhere in my cerebral cortex is loose I think. After that I was in Penang and they were a lot of conversations (yes, with other people) and I haven’t been back since Chinese New Year. A lot has changed in my brothers’ lives and my parents. There were a lot of stories that I wasn’t aware of. It was interesting to listen to family gossips. There were sessions of gifts exchanging as well. Dad had gone somewhere during the time I wasn’t home and had bought some ‘ole-ole’ for H and I. I was in Brisbane and I distributed mine as well. Everybody seems happy and contented with their gifts. Hannah was especially happy and when H and I wanted to do a bit of rendezvous-ing in town on Saturday morning, she refused to follow because she wanted stay with dad and sis. H and I took the opportunity to spend sometime alone. It was wonderful because we found a small stall selling ‘apom teloq’ in Pulau Tikus even though it wasn’t as good as the ones Aci makes but it was good. We bought 30 and it was gone in a split second. We consumed 10 on the way to the car. They were delicious and hot. The rest we took it home and Hannah loves it. So does the rest of the family.
After that H dropped me at The Sanctuary at the Gurney. It was for me to have my spa. Yes! Yes! Finally!! I had a 45minutes message and half an hour soaked in a Jacuzzi filled with milk mixed with rose petals. Heaven! The 45 minutes message was a revelation to me as I had never went through a full body message before. It was front and back. It was intimidating at first but when she kneaded almost every inch of my body, I can’t help but to relax and enjoy it. It’s not expensive and I am definitely going back there for another one. My body glowed after the session and I was smiling all the way to the car.
It was a great weekend. I got to talk to mom and tasted fruits from dad’s so called orchard. It was good to go back where you belong even though I was preoccupied with something that’s not that important. I let it get to me. When I was crying due to frustration, Hannah came and wipe my tears and said” Mummy, you are a big girl and big girls don’t cry. Okay mummy” I can’t help but smiled at her and gathered myself up and forgot about the whole thing. I enjoyed my weekend after that. The view from my room was magnificent (as attached). Unfortunately it wasn’t that clear because I took it with my mobile which only has a 1.3 megapixel camera.
In conclusion, I am thankful for a lovely family of my own, I am thankful of my initial family and I am thankful of good friends. I am thankful of this life that God has given me plus all the heartaches and hues and cries. Have great weekend everyone! Chao!

Monster me

I haven’t been myself lately. I have been everything I am against. I was moody, snappy and I jumped a lot. Not literally. I always tell myself in whatever circumstances, to always give the other party benefit of the doubt. Always think positive and not jump to conclusion but I did that so many times last week that I don’t know myself anymore. It was a hard and difficult week. I had two confrontations with my students. Both times, were awkward moments that I wish didn’t happen in the first place but I came to my senses fast enough to change it into a positive learning experience instead of a negative one. It was horrible. It will always give me this icky feeling whenever I think about them. It’s like finding vagisil in your parents’ bedroom. Eeeeww!
But both times, I was shaken by the predicament. I don’t know what was wrong with me, I didn’t only jump to conclusion but I leaped! It was so unlike me. I had become this monster that I didn’t recognize. There was no compassion or consideration in me that I wonder what had happened to me. I cringed with uneasiness when I think about our confrontation. Another vagisil moment!Stop!
I don’t like myself when I was with my students. With one of the classes, I was angry all the time and I can see fear on their faces but somehow they didn’t make an effort to pacify my anger, they made it worse by not preparing for class. I couldn’t tolerate that especially when they are so young. I want what’s best for them. Oh gosh, I am beginning to sound like my mom! Anyway, I had a self-reflection time a couple of days back. I realized anger and snapping at everything isn’t an answer. Gosh! I had become one of them. I am one of the zombies with no feelings or compassion for others. I remembered when I first joined this organization; I had witnessed a session by some of the staff with some students. They were so stern and fierce with the students that I had loath that session. Looking back and now, I had become one of them. That scared the hell out of me. Please God, I have derailed, pull me back on the right course please. The weekend had put me back in perspectives and I told myself that I had to try harder to go against the current, no matter how hard it is going to be. After all I am a good swimmer. See ya!