Yoda’s love poem

Yep. too much time on my hand...this is the results of being idle and refusing to work. enjoy!



Compatible, we are
but Eternal bliss, we achieve not
For our relationship was wrong, in the beginning, too late we realized.
Go on with the course it led us, we did
Blind we are, as the fatal course of this relationship we can’t see
Challenges and hurdles, our faithful companions
Engaging dialogues we have, our treasure to keep, I believe
For every inch of your skin, I know by heart
An emotional mantra I have no qualms in memorizing
Disregard you and us, an impossible feat
Even for a master Jedi such as me
But you like the chirpy me, I sometimes thought
Chirpy, I cannot be
An iconoclast, I would be
My Jedi won’t have it, I am certain.
Melancholy and resolved with a serious mind , a master jedi, that I am
It’s required of me, a duty bestowed
Maybe Jedi and Human together, remain we cannot
Broken beyond repair, I am
Do or do not, I say, there is no try.
Regret us, do not. Mourn about us, do not.
For breathing you, I cannot stop
And romanticizing about us, I do still
I bid you farewell, my love.
For 900 years or more, as long the force is with me, as long as life creates,
As long as the force exists, surrounds and binds us
That is how long, be with you, I will
May the force be with us!

Cow Girl!

Alex said that I look like Martina Mcbride today. Not so much as look like her but the way I dressed, I looked like a country singer.That’s what she said. I laughed out loud to that remarks. I thought of trying something different. I wore my gypsy skirt and my brown boots. The skirt is a little shorter than the usual ones that I normally wear. Hannah’s remark was when she saw me with boots was “ Wow! Nice shoes mummy! I like it! You look like a cow girl!” I do and it’s refreshing to me to inject an element of quirkiness and fun to my wardrobe. I like it and that’s who I am. I like shoes and clothes. All that was missing was a horse,a saddle and a hat! My students didn’t give me a second look or anything or they didn’t stare or started running away laughing or anything like that so I regarded that as a silent approval. That they are ok with it in fact I had a very engaging class today but then again, that group always look like as if they are on dopamine or ecstasy or some kind of new age drugs or something. They are always participative and forever asking questions. Four hours are never enough. Today I was determined to finish my chapter and I did. Horray me! But then we didn’t have time to listen to their Jomeworks(I need to patent this or at least pun a registered trademark to this). In fact I had to ask them to try to refrain from asking so many questions. I know…that’s bad but I need to have some point of control in my class. They not only ask questions but they share their views and ideas and thoughts. My fault actually, I normally dig my own grave. I asked them to share their thoughts, ideas and views. I do that at the end of every class. I didn’t know that they will hang to my every word. I like the class but I need to be objective about it and I need to finish my syllabus. Some are asking me if we are going to do make up classes for all the future holidays! See…I told you so! Definitely drugs! Or maybe they are infected by mold. The spores have gotten to their mind. Help! We need some anti-biotic or something. Their passions are contagious, mind you. You can’t help but smile and thank god for students like them. Every lecturers dream comes true. After the class, I had a meeting and as I was walking to the meeting I saw Aidan. The ICT guy who look like Ali. A decent, down to earth kindda guy. He commented on my boots. Hehe. He said that it was nice. We chatted while walking and went our separate ways. His story has a sad turn to it. He was a smart boy. He had gotten into one of the local universities after doing his matriculation. He got involved with a wrong crowd and that was when he took part in illegal racing. He got caught by the police, thrown out of uni and the rest is details. He is a nice boy. Anyway, after that I went out for lunch and I saw people staring at my boots. Told myself that I don’t think I want this much of attention. So I need to seriously rethink of wearing this boots again. I came back and continue working till it was time to see Vicky. I have been postponing my appointment with her for many moons. When I was leaving, Zoey commented that I look like a country singer and as both of us were going to the parking lot, I muttered “ oh gosh, where did I leave my horse?” She smiled. So I left and Vicky said I look nice today. We chatted none stop, as she was telling me about her Bangkok trip and I was telling her about work mostly. I am such a boring person sometimes. I need to find more hobbies and I gotta stop talking about work. Oh yeah… I saw this strapless knee-length polka dot dress that would be perfect for Finns’ party. Yep…He’s having this get together at a seafood restaurant and the theme is ‘polka dots’. H will be away that few days … I’m kindda not looking forward to spending the night alone with Hannah in the house but I can do it!I will!I will ! I will!(I sound like Noddy)so I’ll bring Hannah with me. I need to find her a polka dot dress. This is so exciting…. Going to a party! That was the end of my cow girl day. Now it’s time to sleep! YeeHaa!

Rejoice

That is what I need to do. I have been a worry wart lately and have had many gastric attacks in a week. My body’s way of saying “snap out of it will ya..you are giving us gas and we have had enough!” I worry too much and lately it has magnified tenfold. The worries have manifested into nightmares! Vivid nightmares that I will remember the next day! Hm… bad huh! I worry about a lot of things…some petty but some are justified. I worry about not finishing my work…hmmm…that’s not a worry but is a permanent resident in my mind. I worry of not being able to manage my money well… hmm..that comes up once in awhile. I worry about my health but if it’s not of my gastric, I am as healthy as a horse….I need to find better similes. A horse? What was I thinking? This excessive gas is clouding my brain. I worry of not being able to take care of Hannah. Hmm… that has gotten a citizenship in the corner of my mind. I worry of losing my friends… hmmm but lately I have been ignoring them not intentionally but because of my other worries, I have been by myself a lot and I haven’t been spending time with them but I guess it’s true when they say absence will make the hearts grow fonder. Refreshingly, we see each other in the loo. Yep…. So Ally McBeal! We had real conversations in the loo. So don’t be surprised when I disappeared into the loo for more than half hour. Not because of something I ate. No..i just need some time alone with my friends ..to catch up on everyday happenings. Not a unisex loo but the ladies loo. But if you see me disappearing into the men’s room, then please don’t be alarm! It just means that we have run out of toilet paper and I need some. Men just don’t utilize toilet paper enough! I worry of not exercising enough…but lately I have been quite adamant and I would literally drop everything and just jump! In to the pool that is...with my swimsuit on of course! I worry of not eating right so I have transferred all responsibility of preparing food for me on myself. You just can’t trust all these vendors and their msg and liberated ways of using cooking oil in everything they cook. I worry of not being able to go pursue my phd! OK!Ok! I have said it! yeah…that’s the King and Queen of my worries right now and it is linked to me worrying of not being able to understand the topic that I am doing. I worry about asking the wrong questions and writing the wrong things. I worry of not knowing and understanding. I worry of not knowing the next course of action. I worry of not getting in! I worry of not being able to go! I worry and worry and worry of losing my mind! That’s a lot of worries! I know but I am done worrying (just listen to yourself woman!). If I get 100 dollars for every worry then I’ll be a millionaire by now! I am sick of tummy pain and I am sick of worrying. This will stop. I will stop worrying. There are more to life than worrying. I need to start rejoicing to all my life’s endeavors, challenges and worries. Instead of dwelling to no end on a worry, I need to dance with it. Rejoice! Imagine me dancing with my worry.(koo koo …loney!) I need to wake up (I can’t say that with a straight face now) and smell the roses and daffodils and dance with my worries. Instead of dwelling on it and nurse it like a stubborn cold (good similes eh?), I need to dance and sing with them and pray to God that some of them, if not all will turn into cash…No too materialistic of me,.i mean will turn into ashes ..nah..too idealist. I mean turn into solutions..nah too realist. I hope that after the dancing fiesta, they would appear less magnified and I would dwell on them less and sooner or later I’ll find ways and means and pills to make them disappear forever!….Now that’s me. Rejoice! Say after me…..OOOOOoooZAAaaaaaa! and Rejoice!Rejoice to life!Rejoice to friends! Rejoice to enemies! Rejoice to other worry warts! Rejoice to peace! Rejoice to a calm mind! Rejoice to a healthy heart free from hate and any life cavities!Rejoice!Rejoice!Rejoice!(I’m trying to drown the worry with Rejoice! Am I succeeding?Literally!yes! Rejoice!Rejoice! Rejoice! To laughter and smiles!Rejoice to hope and pray!Rejoice to love!Rejoice! Dance with your worries! Tango, ballet, do the waltz with your worries. Waltzing with your worries! Hmm.. I like the sound of that. Hopefully by dancing with them it will release enough oxytoxin and dopamine to eliminate all the tummy gases and reduce my pain…Physically and emotionally! Amen! So stop worrying and start waltzing people!