Dad called about 10minutes before ‘waktu berbuka’ just now. He was asking for Hannah before my battery went dead. After picking Hannah from the babysitter’s place, I called him back and passed the phone to Hannah. It was heartwarming listening to them talk about fishing, school and how she told her ‘Atuk Ba’ that she was fasting today. She told her grandpa that she didn’t eat anything today. Her face was beaming with pride when she told her grandpa that. Then she added she only drank a few cups of water today, no food just water. That constitutes her definition of fasting. I heard my dad laughed and made his promise to take her fishing. A promise normally he will keep nowadays. After that Hannah passed the phone to me. I asked dad, why the sudden call especially at this odd hour. He said he was worried about Hannah after the body of a girl was found in a gym bag dumped near a shop lot recently. He was ranting about how the psychopath needs to be locked up for hurting children. He ended his sermon with a few advice to me to always look out for Hannah and make sure that she’s near and that I’m always holding her hand whenever we go out. Then he reminded me about the incident at IKEA.
I have lost Hannah once. Irene and Alvin wanted to take her to the playground nearby , while H and I waited in the café. After about 10 minutes, I saw Irene came back with a worried face and delivered us the bad news. H turned to me with a worried face. I almost ran but I didn’t know where I was going, I needed to just go somewhere with the hope to find my baby. She was 3years old then. Everybody panicked and we were scramming in all sorts of directions, trying to find Hannah, leaving all the stuff we have bought in IKEA in the trolley unattended. I finally stopped and I looked around. I turned and I saw Alvin pointing at one direction. I saw Hannah being led by a uniform clad employee and they were going down the stairs. I saw Alvin ran to the stajrs and scooped her up, thanked the employee and brought Hannah to us. Alvin and Irene said sorry profusely to H and I. We knew it was not intentional but I thank God that we found Hannah. So after talking to Dad, I remembered that dreadful experience.
The second thing on my mind was that they found Zurin, the missing girl. I told H to get today’s newspapers and H said that he brought back a copy of NST for me. After breaking our fast at one of the mamak stalls near our house, we went home. The first thing I did was read the newspapers. I was appalled and I cried relating the story to H. The girl they found in the bag was sexually molested and tortured. The papers printed the girl’s photo on the front page. It was an angelic face of a child who died on the hands of a maniac!
In Australia, a girl was found without her parents wandering at the airport. They couldn’t identify her because she didn’t carry any identification with her. She’s only 3 or 4 years old. She’s alive and well except that her parents were no where to be found. The father was with her before supposedly leaving on a plane to the states. Now police from 3 countries are joining forces to find the parents- New Zealand(as they are Chinese with New Zealand citizenship, the girl was found in Australia and the father was leaving to the US). The wonderful thing was that, when they couldn’t identify the girl, they named her ‘pumpkin’ as she was donning from top to toe in Pumpkin Patch’s brand. It is equivalent to Osh Kosh but Australian based brand specializing in kids clothing. I wish we could give the girl we found in the bag a name, instead of calling her “a girl in a gym bag”. The heartbreaking thing was that she was found without any clothing on except bruises that tells a revolting story of torture and senseless idiotic act of cruelty. I want to call her angel because of her angelic face. I pray to God to always let Hannah be with me. I don’t think I can even think of the idea of her missing or be in that predicament. My prayers go out to angel and may she be in heaven where she belongs. My prayers also go to the people that love her. Good night and Happy Fasting.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Hannah
Hi-ya all! Hannah is better now but it was like going through hell and back seeing her sick. After seeing the chirpy doc. She was ok for only one day. It was on Saturday night that her temperature rose up again. At 3am in the early Sunday morning, she was vomitting and crying and i felt her body was hot. I started sponging her and asked her to take her medicine. That sunday i told a friend that i would go and support her function which was at work and i didnt hesistate this time. I picked up the phone and sms my ride that i couldnt go and then i sms my friend. AFter that i took Hannah to the medical center and this time we saw the chirpy doctor again and this time her temperature was 40.2. This time around the doc didnt shoot me a piercing look but instead she looked at me with compassion. I think she was tired and her chripyness was wearing off. She changed Hannah anti-biotics and we went home with the new set of medicine. I took Hannah to work on Monday since there was no management meeting and replacement classes. I wanted to monitor her condition and i wanted to be there just incase if it got worse. She was alright. The next day, we sent her to the daycare and when i called during midday at the daycare center, they said that her condition was getting worse. We took her to the medical center again and the doctor wanted to admit her but after seeing our worried faces, he said let's take her blood again and do the test. We took her to take her blood. She was screaming and crying that my heart reached out to her. H and I were tired and we didnt get enough sleep since Hannah was sick, and seeing her cried and the way she begged me not to take her to the nurse because she didnt want the needle, somehow ripped my heart apart. I almost make a fool of myself of crying infront of the pack hall of the hospital. I wish i could give my arm so that she wouldnt have to go through the pain but i can't. So H had to be stern and then she called me and i hugged her while the nurse squeezed blood out of her little finger until it filled a tube. They did the test and changed to another anti-biotics and we went home. I was restless because i had to leave her on Wednesday till Friday. I didnt want to but we were short handed to manage the conference. I was one of the committee members and i had to be there. I broke down in my class thinking about her. A few hours before leaving for the hotel, i made up my mind to bring her with me. At least she'll be near. I got a few of the volunteers to take turns to take care of her while i work but i went up to see her during lunch time; to feed her and bathe her. On the 2nd night we were there, she got better. We extended our stay and she got better and better. Her appetite got better too. When she was sick she refused to eat or talked. Her weight plummeted to 12kg from 19kg before. She was skin and bones. Now she's better and it was a lesson learnt for me. I took it to heart when one of my collegues said that the reason she's sick was because i dont hug her enough. I was going for an alternative medicine when modern medicine has failed. My collegue gave me 'air zam-zam' and after finishing a bottle of the water, her body cooled down. No more fever. I was hurt but there were some truth in what she has said about me not hugging Hannah enough. I was away in Brisbane and immediately after coming back , instead of spending time with her, i was at work, immersing myself with work even during weekends. I didnt have time with her. Every clouds has a silver lining and even dark ones like mine. This is my silver lining. I hug her more, i talked to her more. I spend more time reading to her and i kiss her more. We do girls things together and she gets my jokes. She's talkative like before. I cooked last week and she ate quite a lot. After her lunch, she said down and rubbed her round tummy and said " oh goodness i am so full". She is sounding more and more like me. I found her using all the phrases that i used. The other day she said " Mummy, can i say something?" She was so serious that i was actually scared of what she wanted to say. Then She said " My friend has the same clip that you are wearing. It's very pretty mummy, justlike you". I love the conversation we are having. I wish i could record each and every one of it and stash them in a safe somewhere. So that when i am older and she no longer stays at home and has a family of her own, i couldview them one by one to see how my little girl has grown. I thank god for Hannah. She is my life. Love your children because they are God's gift and God has bestowed the trust on us to love them the best we can. See you later aligator! (David would replied " in awhile crocodile") I miss David and the whole moo gang.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Me and HIM
I wanted to write this a long time ago but again the normal excuse- I don’t have the time will always fill the ‘reason’ column. I found God again. I know God is always there but I haven’t been speaking to Him for a long time. Not intentionally at least. But a couple of months ago, I felt lost and alone. H and I we weren’t talking for many days. At that time I was face on with my friendship issues and Frasier was as elusive as ever and it so happened that at that time he was in one of his “leave me alone’ mode. I felt lost and not at peace. I remembered Alex called and asked me why I wasn’t picking the phone and I told her that I was praying. There was a long awkward silent and I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. After awhile, we laughed. I wanted to talk to her but I just couldn’t. I rather talk to God. I did and I felt a whole lot better after that. I have been doing that since. I miss the conversation that I used to have with Him. But now, I talked to him everyday. I ask him without fail everyday, to brush away all the hatred in my heart, to give me the strength to face everyday, every obstacle and to face my colleagues. I ask him to give me the passion and love for this industry that I am in. To give me good health and a peace of mind. I ask him to give me strength to fight temptations. To give me the courage to do what’s right. To stop my tears when someone I care about hurt me with outrageous request and hurtful words. To guide me when there’s no one there. To let me appreciate my family and friends more and vice versa. To let my friends know it in their hearts that whatever I do for them is out of love and sincerity. I asked God to always keep me humble and down to earth.
Somehow, I am much stronger now but there are still things that I find hard to resist and avoid. It’s the matters of the heart. It’s hard to do the right thing when your mind and your heart are saying different things. It’s a paradox. It feels so right but so wrong. It hurts when you are in it alone, feeling the things you are feeling alone, without anyone to talk to. It’s hard to keep up with this façade and carry on this act but this is my life. I have chosen this path and I am living it. Okay enough self pity for one night. I’ll write soon.Chao!
Somehow, I am much stronger now but there are still things that I find hard to resist and avoid. It’s the matters of the heart. It’s hard to do the right thing when your mind and your heart are saying different things. It’s a paradox. It feels so right but so wrong. It hurts when you are in it alone, feeling the things you are feeling alone, without anyone to talk to. It’s hard to keep up with this façade and carry on this act but this is my life. I have chosen this path and I am living it. Okay enough self pity for one night. I’ll write soon.Chao!
Saturday, August 4, 2007
finding my voice
The long overdue padang trip entry. Sorry!
I told H last night that he was wonderful and through out the journey to work today, he has this smirk on his face that was adorable and irritating rolled into one. That was not what I wanted to write about here. I wanted to write about my trip to Padang. It was great, surprisingly. I will tell you why. It was daunting at first. Why? Because I told Dr M that I was presenting. It was not as if I had a choice. He asked everyone else whether they wanted to go but when it comes to me, it was “have you booked your ticket?” I’ve got a ticket to ride, I’ve got a ticket to ride and I don’t care! Hehe. The light and easy channel is getting to me with all the oldies which I love! Anyway, I booked my tickets three days before leaving and everyone else booked theirs months before. The 2nd reason as to why it a daunting trip was because well I was alone. None of my close friends wanted to go. Someone was supposed to keep me company and we were going to have an adventure as tourists but in the end couldn’t go because he hadn’t renewed his passport. He had only realized this at the last minute. So I had to go alone and also because I felt obligated to Dr M, that was why I agreed. I talked Zoey into going and I thought we could share a room together (the package was on a twin-sharing basis) , she agreed to go but she brought her hubby with her. So even before going I accepted the fact that I am bound to stay by myself which is a blessing in disguise because I am not comfortable sharing a room with someone I don’t really know. Nellie is staying with her hubby and daughter. So it’s just me, myself and I. I was at the airport at 5.45am. H sent me and after that he took Hannah back to my in-laws place. He said it is easier and she’ll be occupied playing with her cousins and she won’t ask about me as much. But she cried at night before going to sleep because mummy wasn’t there. I felt horrible when H told me when I called from Indonesia. Anyway, this is one of the sacrifices that I have to do to provide her all the best things in life. Ok. At the airport Nellie was with Sherry. I arrived at the same time with Adam and we sat together with Sherry and Nellie for breakfast. On the plane I ended up sitting with Sherry and her friend. We reached Padang at 9 plus and went straight to the hotel and it was no surprise when Sam gave me a room to myself. It was a nice room overlooking the sea. Nellie was always reminding me that we should go swimming when we have the chance. I was glad that she’s there even though we are not really close but at least she’s eager enough to be my friend. My voice was not coming out. It was due to my cough and lack of rest. I have been leaving the office late to finish my paper. I finished it and it was an amazing feeling. It was hell though trying to finish it. Alex said that I looked so stressed out that she should have video taped me in the midst of finishing my paper, crazy!. I wish she was with me. This is the first time I am presenting without her. Anyway, I regarded this journey as an adventure that sooner or later I have to braze through, alone without Alex. Sob! We were at the hotel for a few minutes and then we took off to the university. The journey there, Nellie sat next to me because her hubby and kid stayed at the hotel. It was beautiful and scenic journey. I saw padi fields, fish ponds and huge satellite dishes at almost every house we passed by. A weird combination but nevertheless interesting. We reached the Uni and saw Johnny and the rest of the gang. He looked happy. It was nice seeing him. The Big boss was there and surprisingly he raised his hand from far just to say hi to me. It was a nice feeling to be recognized by the big kahuna. Anyway, the official opening was interesting; the big boss was given a beetle nut leaf to eat as part of their welcoming culture. Interesting. Then there was the opening and then the speeches and the agreement signing. Then it was Adam’s turn to present. It was funny on how he changed his slang when he speaks to the public. His session was surprisingly long. Then it was lunch. I totally lost my voice. The hot food, weather and the lack of sleep didn’t help at all. Even in the hall we were sweating and you can see that we were using papers to fan ourselves and the Indonesians were sitting ever so comfortably and looking cool and compose and we looked like we were melting and it was an air-conditioned room! Geez! In the afternoon session, Johnny sat behind me, Nellie and Sherry. I was bored with all the Indonesian speaking presenters when that was supposed to be an international conference! I played with my camera, snapping here and there because I have no voice to speak! Johnny, Nellie and Sherry accommodated me. They were giving me zany poses and it was hilarious and it was so frustrating to laugh without a voice! I even talked to Johnny using sign language and he was very accommodating as well and at one point I got tired of signing and I wrote on a piece of paper and he wrote back. I guess he must have pitied me being alone without Alex. It was a trip of discovery. A discovery of a new place, discovery of me in a different setting, filled with different people in the background and at my side. A discovery of how resilient I can be facing such situation. I needed to find my voice literally and socially speaking in these foreign settings.It was hard at first and I guess GOD wanted to make it more interesting and took my voice for a few days and put me in a foreign place attached with some ‘foreign’ people, I mean they don’t belong in my group of friends. It’s funny come to think of it and Who says GOD doesn’t have a sense of humor, look at me and my predicament! I think I have faired quite well. Miraculously, right on the very second they called my name to present which was on the 2nd day, There’s a bit of voice came out. I spoke and presented and explained and I looked like I have been doing this for years. No heart pumping nerve wrecking situation, No need Nabil for a mouth to mouth resuscitation like Alex and I almost experienced during our first real international conference. I was fine and fit like a bull except for my husky voice. I wasn’t nervous at all. I was amaze with myself. It was an amazing feeling but I wasn’t nervous one bit. I guess deep down inside me I knew that three quarter of the people in the hall would be clueless with what I was saying because I was one of the three speakers that spoke in English in this so called ‘international conference’! Johnny took my photo during the presentation. It was an honor. Dr Darren said that I have the sexiest voice among all presenters. Oh stop! J After it was over, I was proud of myself and I wish my close friends and H were there to cheer me up. I felt alone but it was quite impossible to be in that gloomy place for long because Nellie was everywhere keeping me busy with things and her plans to shop for what, where, how many and the whole nine yards! I think she covered the 5Ws and 2Hs in every itinerary that she had planned for us. Just the two of us though. And I am thankful because during some of the crucial times she was my voice. Asking the receptionist for a glass of lime juice because she insisted that I needed one and when the Jawa don’t seem to have any asam jawa, how ironic! She was there with me. I am thankful. I wasn’t alone physically. Alex called me to check on how I was doing. She’s great! But very cheeky, she sms me at night to tease me and scare me about staying in a hotel room all alone. Very cheeky! Surprisingly, the people who were with me in the tour bus whom I wouldn’t consider them as my friends were just that. They became my friends. It’s the foreign country I think. They made jokes like normal people, I used to think of them as those who had originated from a new planet in the solar system (replacing Pluto) but amazingly it has taken Minangkabau to transform them into earthlings! There were some breakthrough jokes and hilariously funny ones such as mengawan solo. It was so funny and the mobile karaoke-ing. We were bored in the bus and it was a three-hour journey from Bukit Tinggi back to Padang. The driver put on an Indonesian karaoke cd and the men sitting behind me tried their luck at singing all those unknown song in Indonesian language and that has resulted in some funny instances. The last song which was a song everyone was familiar with (ayam bin lapih) and everyone sand and Johanny danced in the bus! It was a sight to behold and remembered forever. I sat at the back of the tour bus with Nellie. The funny thing was that, fate has it that I was supposed to sit with Johnny. It wasn’t planned, before we left for the tour, Nellie and I were the last to board the tour bus. When I boarded the bus I saw Johnny sitting next to my stuff. I was happy but it was awkward because there were too many people that belong to the old school of thoughts in the bus that it would be lethal if we did sit together. Johnny got up and Nellie came to the back to sit next to me. Oh well…next time then. I am glad Johnny was with us because he was very helpful, helping me with my bags and shopping. Explaining to me about a lot of things and there was once, I called Nellie and Sherry for an opinion about material for a kebaya. The shop owner had put up for the mannequin to wear the material. All the three of us were admiring the mannequin and both of them agreed that it’s beautiful. Then Johnny came and said that we all have the figures for it and we should buy it. I looked at him and ask him “nice or not?” he nodded and said “yes, very nice”. That was all it took for me to buy it. The last hotel we stayed in Bukit Tinggi named Pusako Hotel gave me the creeps. As soon as I entered the hotel and it was only 5pm in the afternoon, I got a really bad vibe. Nellie offered to keep me company and Sherry asked me to sleep in her room with another lady. I thanked them for their concerns but I bravely went through the night alone. As usual, I switched on all the lights and the tv and drank my cough mixture right from the bottle and went to sleep. I did the same thing the very first night I arrived in Minangkabau and the cough mixture will wear off around 6am but in that hotel, I got up at 3.30am and couldn’t sleep a wink after that. Something wasn’t right. When the clock strikes 6am I got up and got ready. The final night we stayed at this really nice hotel in Padang and the next morning we had to get up early to be at the airport. I was down at the café at 5am and I saw the senior guys were seated around one table and then Johnny came down. There was one seat left at the guys table so I let Johnny sat there and I joined Morgan’s wife and daughter who were sitting next to the guy’s table. We chatted and then the wife told me the history of the Spooky hotel that gave me the bad vibe. It seems that there were cemeteries next to the hotel and there were peculiar incidences that guests had experienced before ie. Finding yourself sleeping on the floor outside of the room the next morning etc. Eeee Spooky. I thank God, nothing happened to me. We were at the airport and Dr Darren agreed to let me share his luggage quota with him. I checked in with him and I was really glad that I survived the trip and that I was going home. I needed to go through this trip. I needed to see me in a different setting, different place, and different people. I needed to see how I would react mingling with literally strangers without having my comfort zone to fall back on to. I needed to find my voice in the midst of everything and everybody and Praise to God , I found it! I found me again!Thank you. Au revoir!
I told H last night that he was wonderful and through out the journey to work today, he has this smirk on his face that was adorable and irritating rolled into one. That was not what I wanted to write about here. I wanted to write about my trip to Padang. It was great, surprisingly. I will tell you why. It was daunting at first. Why? Because I told Dr M that I was presenting. It was not as if I had a choice. He asked everyone else whether they wanted to go but when it comes to me, it was “have you booked your ticket?” I’ve got a ticket to ride, I’ve got a ticket to ride and I don’t care! Hehe. The light and easy channel is getting to me with all the oldies which I love! Anyway, I booked my tickets three days before leaving and everyone else booked theirs months before. The 2nd reason as to why it a daunting trip was because well I was alone. None of my close friends wanted to go. Someone was supposed to keep me company and we were going to have an adventure as tourists but in the end couldn’t go because he hadn’t renewed his passport. He had only realized this at the last minute. So I had to go alone and also because I felt obligated to Dr M, that was why I agreed. I talked Zoey into going and I thought we could share a room together (the package was on a twin-sharing basis) , she agreed to go but she brought her hubby with her. So even before going I accepted the fact that I am bound to stay by myself which is a blessing in disguise because I am not comfortable sharing a room with someone I don’t really know. Nellie is staying with her hubby and daughter. So it’s just me, myself and I. I was at the airport at 5.45am. H sent me and after that he took Hannah back to my in-laws place. He said it is easier and she’ll be occupied playing with her cousins and she won’t ask about me as much. But she cried at night before going to sleep because mummy wasn’t there. I felt horrible when H told me when I called from Indonesia. Anyway, this is one of the sacrifices that I have to do to provide her all the best things in life. Ok. At the airport Nellie was with Sherry. I arrived at the same time with Adam and we sat together with Sherry and Nellie for breakfast. On the plane I ended up sitting with Sherry and her friend. We reached Padang at 9 plus and went straight to the hotel and it was no surprise when Sam gave me a room to myself. It was a nice room overlooking the sea. Nellie was always reminding me that we should go swimming when we have the chance. I was glad that she’s there even though we are not really close but at least she’s eager enough to be my friend. My voice was not coming out. It was due to my cough and lack of rest. I have been leaving the office late to finish my paper. I finished it and it was an amazing feeling. It was hell though trying to finish it. Alex said that I looked so stressed out that she should have video taped me in the midst of finishing my paper, crazy!. I wish she was with me. This is the first time I am presenting without her. Anyway, I regarded this journey as an adventure that sooner or later I have to braze through, alone without Alex. Sob! We were at the hotel for a few minutes and then we took off to the university. The journey there, Nellie sat next to me because her hubby and kid stayed at the hotel. It was beautiful and scenic journey. I saw padi fields, fish ponds and huge satellite dishes at almost every house we passed by. A weird combination but nevertheless interesting. We reached the Uni and saw Johnny and the rest of the gang. He looked happy. It was nice seeing him. The Big boss was there and surprisingly he raised his hand from far just to say hi to me. It was a nice feeling to be recognized by the big kahuna. Anyway, the official opening was interesting; the big boss was given a beetle nut leaf to eat as part of their welcoming culture. Interesting. Then there was the opening and then the speeches and the agreement signing. Then it was Adam’s turn to present. It was funny on how he changed his slang when he speaks to the public. His session was surprisingly long. Then it was lunch. I totally lost my voice. The hot food, weather and the lack of sleep didn’t help at all. Even in the hall we were sweating and you can see that we were using papers to fan ourselves and the Indonesians were sitting ever so comfortably and looking cool and compose and we looked like we were melting and it was an air-conditioned room! Geez! In the afternoon session, Johnny sat behind me, Nellie and Sherry. I was bored with all the Indonesian speaking presenters when that was supposed to be an international conference! I played with my camera, snapping here and there because I have no voice to speak! Johnny, Nellie and Sherry accommodated me. They were giving me zany poses and it was hilarious and it was so frustrating to laugh without a voice! I even talked to Johnny using sign language and he was very accommodating as well and at one point I got tired of signing and I wrote on a piece of paper and he wrote back. I guess he must have pitied me being alone without Alex. It was a trip of discovery. A discovery of a new place, discovery of me in a different setting, filled with different people in the background and at my side. A discovery of how resilient I can be facing such situation. I needed to find my voice literally and socially speaking in these foreign settings.It was hard at first and I guess GOD wanted to make it more interesting and took my voice for a few days and put me in a foreign place attached with some ‘foreign’ people, I mean they don’t belong in my group of friends. It’s funny come to think of it and Who says GOD doesn’t have a sense of humor, look at me and my predicament! I think I have faired quite well. Miraculously, right on the very second they called my name to present which was on the 2nd day, There’s a bit of voice came out. I spoke and presented and explained and I looked like I have been doing this for years. No heart pumping nerve wrecking situation, No need Nabil for a mouth to mouth resuscitation like Alex and I almost experienced during our first real international conference. I was fine and fit like a bull except for my husky voice. I wasn’t nervous at all. I was amaze with myself. It was an amazing feeling but I wasn’t nervous one bit. I guess deep down inside me I knew that three quarter of the people in the hall would be clueless with what I was saying because I was one of the three speakers that spoke in English in this so called ‘international conference’! Johnny took my photo during the presentation. It was an honor. Dr Darren said that I have the sexiest voice among all presenters. Oh stop! J After it was over, I was proud of myself and I wish my close friends and H were there to cheer me up. I felt alone but it was quite impossible to be in that gloomy place for long because Nellie was everywhere keeping me busy with things and her plans to shop for what, where, how many and the whole nine yards! I think she covered the 5Ws and 2Hs in every itinerary that she had planned for us. Just the two of us though. And I am thankful because during some of the crucial times she was my voice. Asking the receptionist for a glass of lime juice because she insisted that I needed one and when the Jawa don’t seem to have any asam jawa, how ironic! She was there with me. I am thankful. I wasn’t alone physically. Alex called me to check on how I was doing. She’s great! But very cheeky, she sms me at night to tease me and scare me about staying in a hotel room all alone. Very cheeky! Surprisingly, the people who were with me in the tour bus whom I wouldn’t consider them as my friends were just that. They became my friends. It’s the foreign country I think. They made jokes like normal people, I used to think of them as those who had originated from a new planet in the solar system (replacing Pluto) but amazingly it has taken Minangkabau to transform them into earthlings! There were some breakthrough jokes and hilariously funny ones such as mengawan solo. It was so funny and the mobile karaoke-ing. We were bored in the bus and it was a three-hour journey from Bukit Tinggi back to Padang. The driver put on an Indonesian karaoke cd and the men sitting behind me tried their luck at singing all those unknown song in Indonesian language and that has resulted in some funny instances. The last song which was a song everyone was familiar with (ayam bin lapih) and everyone sand and Johanny danced in the bus! It was a sight to behold and remembered forever. I sat at the back of the tour bus with Nellie. The funny thing was that, fate has it that I was supposed to sit with Johnny. It wasn’t planned, before we left for the tour, Nellie and I were the last to board the tour bus. When I boarded the bus I saw Johnny sitting next to my stuff. I was happy but it was awkward because there were too many people that belong to the old school of thoughts in the bus that it would be lethal if we did sit together. Johnny got up and Nellie came to the back to sit next to me. Oh well…next time then. I am glad Johnny was with us because he was very helpful, helping me with my bags and shopping. Explaining to me about a lot of things and there was once, I called Nellie and Sherry for an opinion about material for a kebaya. The shop owner had put up for the mannequin to wear the material. All the three of us were admiring the mannequin and both of them agreed that it’s beautiful. Then Johnny came and said that we all have the figures for it and we should buy it. I looked at him and ask him “nice or not?” he nodded and said “yes, very nice”. That was all it took for me to buy it. The last hotel we stayed in Bukit Tinggi named Pusako Hotel gave me the creeps. As soon as I entered the hotel and it was only 5pm in the afternoon, I got a really bad vibe. Nellie offered to keep me company and Sherry asked me to sleep in her room with another lady. I thanked them for their concerns but I bravely went through the night alone. As usual, I switched on all the lights and the tv and drank my cough mixture right from the bottle and went to sleep. I did the same thing the very first night I arrived in Minangkabau and the cough mixture will wear off around 6am but in that hotel, I got up at 3.30am and couldn’t sleep a wink after that. Something wasn’t right. When the clock strikes 6am I got up and got ready. The final night we stayed at this really nice hotel in Padang and the next morning we had to get up early to be at the airport. I was down at the café at 5am and I saw the senior guys were seated around one table and then Johnny came down. There was one seat left at the guys table so I let Johnny sat there and I joined Morgan’s wife and daughter who were sitting next to the guy’s table. We chatted and then the wife told me the history of the Spooky hotel that gave me the bad vibe. It seems that there were cemeteries next to the hotel and there were peculiar incidences that guests had experienced before ie. Finding yourself sleeping on the floor outside of the room the next morning etc. Eeee Spooky. I thank God, nothing happened to me. We were at the airport and Dr Darren agreed to let me share his luggage quota with him. I checked in with him and I was really glad that I survived the trip and that I was going home. I needed to go through this trip. I needed to see me in a different setting, different place, and different people. I needed to see how I would react mingling with literally strangers without having my comfort zone to fall back on to. I needed to find my voice in the midst of everything and everybody and Praise to God , I found it! I found me again!Thank you. Au revoir!
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